Peter's Birthday 2014: Three Years

For Peter's birthday this year we kept it simple and did a balloon release from our front yard. Earlier in the day the girls and I met up with a friend for a pizza lunch date at Costco, and then we ran errands and found somewhere that sold helium balloons. We got three balloons, one to represent each year.

We thought about taking a trip to where Peter is buried, but couldn't because Zach had to work that weekend. It was also the same weekend of his promotion ceremony, not to mention that it is a three and a half hour drive one way, and we didn't have anyone to stay overnight with. I look forward to our next chance to visit and spend some time in that peaceful cemetery surrounded by cotton fields. It really is one of my favorite places.

Happy third birthday, my sweet Peter. We love you.

Peter's Birthday: Two Years

For Peter's second birthday we celebrated and commemorated by going out to eat for lunch, visiting the cemetery, and releasing some balloons.

When we got home Lucy and I worked on an art project together. She drew a family portrait on our chalkboard and I added a banner as a final touch. I love how it turned out, and really enjoy seeing the progression of figurines she is mastering a step at a time.

Me and my girls. 

My loves!

True that.

Really sad that the last un-popped balloon isn't for her to take home.

Surrounded by peaceful cotton fields. 

Working together. 

Last year on Peter's birthday we were driving all day from Iowa to Alabama to attend Zach's graduation so it hardly even felt like it happened. We were so busy with everything else going on, I didn't have too hard of a time until a few weeks later, when we got finally got home and settled back down.

This year was a lot more emotional for me on his actual birthday. I'm sure part of my emotional response was the other stresses in our life: moving, job change, city change, etc. When you are already stressed out, your emotions are so close to the surface that any little thing can scratch through and unleash the flood gates.

October and November are hard months for me, but at the same time it's one of my favorite times of the year. I love the cooler weather, holiday season, and time to enjoy with family and friends. I like thinking about Peter and remembering him with those we love. Reevaluating my life and seeing which areas I need to improve in.

I like looking at babies who are turning two around me and seeing what Peter would be doing if he were healthy and still alive. Imagining what he would be like.

He was such a sweet, sweet boy.



We love you, Peter!

Happy Birthday, Peter

Happy second birthday, my sweet boy.

Dad, Mom, Peter, Lucy & Clara.

Snuggle Time

One of my favorite things in life is snuggling with my babies and having them fall asleep on my chest with their precious little heads rubbing up under my chin. I love slowing down and taking time to really be in the moment with my little babe. I drink them in trying to memorize their smell and the feel of their weight against my chest and their little velvet heads under my chin.

Heaven!

Making a dive for the armpit.

See here and here for past snuggling.

Lucy's Scrapbook

Lucy always wants to look at my Peter book, pictures on my computer, and the little photo album of her ultrasound pictures that used to reside in her room. I'm always protective of my Peter book, and she naughtily took her ultrasound pictures out of the baby album, so I decided we should make a scrapbook/photo album of her own that she could look at whenever she wants and that I don't have to worry about her ruining. 

We already had a big box of kids scrap booking stuff that was a gift from one of Zach's coworkers for Lucy when Peter died. (What a great idea for a gift, huh?) 

I used duplicate photos that I had already used in Lucy's baby book to give her for her scrap book, and I let her pick out what she wanted on each page as I helped her cut and glue. 

Materials:

- Scrapbook kit: Foam covers, blank pages, plastic cover sheets, stickers

- Scissors

- Scrap booking glue

- Bone folder and ruler (for scoring pages so they will bend with the spine of the book)

- Colored pencils

- Fine point pen for writing captions for pictures

Showing Dad her project and telling him about each picture.

We started with her own baby pictures and eventually we will continue to add more pages and she will have some of her and Peter to look at too.

I let her pick out the stickers and put them on herself.

Line up the ruler and use the bone folder to score the paper so that it bends naturally as you turn the pages.

Letting Lucy fill in the blank pages between the photos with colored pencil drawings.

I showed her how to trace her hands and scribble-fill the page. She loved this and wanted me to do it for her on every page.


Lucy loved showing off her own scrap book and explaining every little detail. This will be a fun project for us to work on together throughout the year as we add more pages.

Peter's Memorial: One Year

It is hard to believe that it has been a year since Peter's birth and death. October and November were difficult months for me due to several factors.  If we can all avoid getting sick next year I think that will help. I'm glad to report that I am doing much better and have been enjoying the holiday season.

Last year Peter died the morning of the day before Thanksgiving which was the 23rd. This year the 23rd fell the day after Thanksgiving. I think every year the day before Thanksgiving and the 23rd will both be heavy in my heart.

To commemorate Peter's one year memorial we bought extra-large balloons with polka dots on them and released them at his grave.

Lucy placing her sacrificial clumps of dirt on Peter's headstone.

Saying a prayer.

Lucy said she needed to give Peter a hug before we left.

We love and miss you, Peter.

All our love.
- Mom, Dad, and Lucy