Thursday, July 19, 2012

What to Say When: A Baby Dies

One of my favorite topics these days is death. I am really interested in it, and like talking about all things pertaining to it. Part of my grieving process involves talking about Peter and what happened. I like sharing Peter's life with others and remembering him.

I recognize that this makes most people uncomfortable and that most people don't like talking about death, so I try not to bring it up. Nothing like talking about your dead baby to kill a party.

I found this Youtube channel randomly a few months ago and it came at a perfect time.

When Peter first died and we went to the funeral home to see  his body before the viewing and funeral, I was curious about the process of embalming, clothing the dead, etc. but knew that I was completely unprepared emotionally  to learn more about it at that time. I couldn't think about those processes being done on his little body right then.

Fast forward a few months and I had come to terms with the idea of his body decaying (which I wrote about here) and was ready to hear the details that the death industry has to offer. Enter: Ask a Mortician.

Ask a Mortician is a video series by Caitlin Doughty that answers questions submitted by viewers about death. She takes a humorous and light-hearted approach to it, and I appreciate that she doesn't take death (or herself) too seriously. I find it fascinating.   It also lead me to her webpage and blog which I follow and read.

I don't agree with every view expressed in her blog, but I appreciate being able to "talk" about death and our own mortality. I have also had many questions answered by watching the videos and reading the blog, as well as had my vision broadened when it comes to future choices and decisions made when someone I know dies.

In the church we talk about our mortal experience, but to me it has always been so closely connected with immortality and eternal life (ie. the resurrection), that I didn't really think too much, or dwell on, the dead and dying (decaying) part of it before having my experience with Peter.

While I have considered sharing Ask a Mortician on my blog before, I kind of thought people wouldn't get it, and wouldn't be interested.  A new video was posted today sharing really good advice on what to say (and not say) when a baby dies and I couldn't resist any longer!

Here is the link.

If you are intrigued at all by this video, I strongly suggest watching the other Ask a Mortician videos in the series. 

Am I the only one fascinated by death and these videos?

Does thinking about death make you uncomfortable because it reminds you of your own mortality and impending demise?    Not me! :D


  1. You are not alone! I too am fascinated by it all. I was even considering becoming a mortician... And would have loved to had the smarts and time to have become a medical examiner.
    I appreciate your openness about your experience with sweet little Peter. Not only did it bring so many of us closer to a little man we may have never physically known, but I think you made it easier for others to help you and your family grieve openly without shying away from any topic of his life and death. If that makes sense...? Haha

    1. Thank you, Tammy! *phewf. I'm not alone. :)
      I could definitely work in the death industry now, and suspect I will have opportunities to share what I have learned with others as time goes on.


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