If something does go wrong it is so hard to make those calls and have to tell your parents and loved ones that your baby died, or might die, or will die. It is like having to relive that moment when the doctor told you, over and over again. It is hard to keep your emotions inside while having to say the words out loud to someone else.
When I was pregnant with Peter and we had our first scare about him potentially having problems, we had only told immediate family that we were even pregnant- and so they were the only ones we told that there might be something wrong.
Immediately there was an outpouring of love and concern from those who knew. Prayers were offered on our behalf and for our unborn baby boy. My dad and step-mom surprised me with a beautiful gift that they saw while at an art gallery that reminded them of me.
The artwork is a photograph of a patch of Forget-me-nots- the state flower for Alaska. These little blue flowers grew on the banks of a creek down the road from my house where I grew up. My younger brother, sister, and I spent a lot of our childhood summers at that creek having adventures.
My parents included a note that was so touching it brought tears to my eyes. The sentiments and thoughtfulness of this gift will always be a cherished reminder of Peter and the love of my family.
After Peter passed away we sat down with someone from the cemetery to choose his headstone. They gave us a pamphlet that had a list of symbols that are used on headstones with their meaning (really interesting).
They also gave us a pamphlet showing baby headstones. They were heart-shaped, with teddy bears and/or cherubs. Some of them just said "Baby Smith" with no birth date- just the death date, or had a rhyme about babies in heaven. While that is nice, it was definitely not what I wanted for Peter.
This is what I knew I wanted:
1. Peter's full name
2. His birth date
3. His death date
After that, if there was room I wanted a picture of the temple or the statue of angel Moroni (that sits at the top spire of the temple) as a symbol of our faith. They pulled out their huge binder filled with Xeroxed icons that looked like they were from the 90's. I read the index for religions and found some "LDS" images. Eeegh. The "temple" that was drawn didn't look much like one, and it was obvious that whoever drew it didn't know about what they were drawing.
The woman working with us told us that there was an online database with lots of other images that she could look through for a better picture. I described what to look for (angel Moroni doesn't have wings) and she said she would email us with a design after she found a better picture.
She also informed us that there would be room for another picture and that it would also help balance the design visually. We looked in the index under flowers and saw that they had some Forget-me-nots listed. Perfect.
We chose a Forget-me-not spray for the corner. A few days later she emailed us the mock-up.
Unfortunately, because their last shipment of granite came all cracked they were behind on installing a lot of headstones and estimated it would be 6-8 weeks after Peter's funeral to be installed. That's something you don't really think about. On TV it always shows the headstone already installed when they lower the casket into the ground.
Well, as of last week- it is here! They called to let us know it was installed and even sent me an email with a picture of it.
How did it turn out?
I was so pleased with the results. It is so nice to have a marker there now. It helps it not feel so lonely when we visit. I like the clean lines and look of it.
I love flowers, and am glad that I will always have sweet memories of Peter associated with this precious flower.
Here are some lovely forget-me-nots I found that you could use to give as a gift to someone you love:
The botanic garden mug with butterfly and forget-me-not design. $22 found here.I love the vintage feel to this charming mug.
Forget Me Not Necklace, linen embroidered pendant ivory with blue. $35 found here.
Lovely hand embroidery. I love this!
Forget-Me-Not Flower Locket -romantic pressed flower necklace. $36 found here.
A perfect gift to put a picture or lock of hair in to remember.
14kt Gold Forget-Me-Not Floral Wedding Stacking Ring, Size 7. $165 found here.
A beautiful little reminder.
Abstract painting, 'Forget me not', small, original painting, oil, floral, 7x7. $50.00 found here.It doesn't have to be a literal representation to be beautiful and uplifting.
Silver valentine locket with forget-me-not-seeds. $225.26 found here. (A great idea, not the most affordable execution.)
You could have them scatter the seeds in a place that meant a lot to both of them, or even plant them at home to help you remember the one you love.
Blank Note card with Crocheted Forget-Me-Not Flowers. $4.00 found here.
Perfect for writing a heartfelt note of sympathy, or sharing condolences.
One of a kind jewelry, Brooch, hand embroidered forget-me-nots on buttercup yellow fabric. $12.20 found here.
I really like the yellow background. It reminds me of the happy moments and memories shared.
Hand Embroidered Felt Glasses Case with Daisies and Forget Me Nots. $12.00 found here.
A useful gift with a sweet sentiment.
Locket - Antique Bronze Photo Art Locket - Forget Me Nots Locket with Necklace and Matching Gift Tin. $14.95 found here.
Another beautiful locket for a special keepsake.
Wax Seal "Forget Me Not" charm necklace - flower wax seal jewelry pendant in fine silver. $35.00 found here.
I love sealing wax and the timelessness of this sentiment.